Inspired by: Talkin’ Jon Birch Society Paranoid Blues
Ein ate a hoagie in Reginald’s car. Reginald sent him out to buy him lunch and gave Ein cash. It didn’t take long for Ein to realize Reginald did not understand money. He gave Ein too much and never wanted change.
After his lunch, he took Reginald’s to his office. Every time he went in there, he’s never felt more out of place. Immaculately groomed executive types talking high-level business deals, and he was carrying fast food after getting conned into working for a millionaire.
Today he stuck out for another reason. Everyone in the office was panicking, and he had no idea why.
Ein knocked on the doorframe of Reginald’s door as the door was wide open, not something he had seen before.
“I have your hoagie,” Ein said, presenting a hoagie.
“I don’t have time for that now. Jon Fall!”
“What about him.”
“Jon Fall!” Reginald repeated, shaking his fist in the air.
Reginald’s official assistant, Ruth, rushed past Ein and grabbed the hoagie.
“Jon Fall,” she said sympathetically but didn’t offer any other details.
“Should I go back to the car?”
“Ugh, I’m going to kill him one day. He’s trying to take my business from me. You know why he was at the funeral?”
Ein sat at the seat across from Reginald’s desk as the rest of the office continued losing their minds.
“To grieve your fallen friend?”
“To brag that he bought her shares.”
“Hmm. I guess I’ll go.”
Reginald shot Ein a look, confirming to him this was a good idea.
Outside of Reginald’s office, Ruth had already eaten half of the hoagie.
“Don’t take it personally, he does this all the time.”
“I don’t care. What’s he doing?”
“Has a meltdown because he thinks Jon Fall is trying to take over his company.”
“Do you think he is?”
Ein turned to walk away but stopped a few steps away.
“What do you do here, anyway? I thought he was rich from tobacco money.”
“We make medical devices to help people breathe. Make up for his family’s sins, he says.”
“Oh, wow, did not know that. Maybe I should stop stealing from him.”
“Nah, he’s super-rich he doesn’t notice.
As Ein left, a man carrying several reams of paper fell, sending a flurry of articles into the air. Ein stepped over him and out of the office.